Disclaimer:
Shake well before use. Any
resemblance to real persons, living, dead or undead is purely
coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each
check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may
settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty
expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or
heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. This is
not an
offer to sell securities. Not the Beatles. Apply only to affected area.
May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. For recreational use
only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition
persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without
notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the
forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only.
Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool, process
promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was
current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on
file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or
failure to perform. At participating locations only. Penalty for
private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early
withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Lost ticket pays maximum
rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here.
Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each
item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees
and their families are not eligible. Beware of the dog. Contestants
have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time
offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win.
No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within
a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from
fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths
for two or more. Tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional.
Price does not include taxes. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded
for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No
alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates.
First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver
does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product
appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions
on back of previous stub. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No
transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold
by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not
reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my
friends, or my pet. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything.
All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may
not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely
coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand
wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or
spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Void where
restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any
warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity
article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while
supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read
them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your
own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain
explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental
guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and
small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase
necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required.
Instructions included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives
added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use.
Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call
before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For
external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops,
discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme
temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames.
Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not
puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not
place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could
be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to
abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or
flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms
persist, consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and
children should avoid prolonged exposure to article. Caution: Article
may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Product contains a liquid
core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled,
or looked at. Do not use on concrete. Discontinue use if any of the
following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities,
Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech, temporary blindness,
profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If product begins to smoke,
get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Article may stick to
certain types of skin. When not in use, item should be returned to its
special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so
relieves us of any and all liability. Ingredients of article may
include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably
from outer space. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or
death. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Offer valid only at
participating sites. Slightly higher west of your home. Allow four to
six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read, 21 to use. Disclaimer does
not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami,
volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God,
neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper
or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or
altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in
this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or
taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling
rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile
(which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's,
shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha,
Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other
restrictions may
apply. This supersedes all previous notices.